This is a response to a blog post by my colleague Azucena, titled The United States and its problems, published on April 3rd, 2015.
You have a lot of good points, however you could do more to persuade the audience, and be a little more specific. For example, I cannot really tell who your audience is. You have a lot of vague subjects that could be aimed at addressing a large number of people, but the farther you narrow down your audience the more persuasive you will seem, or at least to that audience in particular. There also could be a much more specific topic that you choose in order to get down to the real details that support the point you are trying to get across. In the first paragraph I think you could eliminate some subjects, assume I am stupid, because for all you know I could be right? Well if that is true, how is America a threat to other countries? What real threat does ISIS pose to our nation? Later in the second paragraph you mention something about the House trying to involve our nation's safety in the immigration debate. I was only able to draw this conclusion because of prior knowledge of the topic, but again, you should assume I have no idea what you are talking about, tell me about what Obama had in mind with this bill and why, or how congress is opposing it. Lastly our government is not organized in such a way to have legislation passed easily, disagreement harbors further thinking. We need to truly decide whether the bill in question is what is best for our country, it should not be an easy thing to change or make laws unless it is an emergency that needs immediate attention. More plainly our president and Congress will not agree until the parties of the two branches are one and the same.